ONE GIRL LIKE THAT

 It has been a while I wrote something very personal in fact I am starting to believe that I have lost the delicate introspection I used to have. I am more of a goal oriented person now. Or simply Money Oriented, at least, That doesn't seem grandiose a scheme. Please don't think or believe that I have accomplished something substantial with my life. I am still constantly switching between 'broke' and having enough. 

I have thoroughly Ejected from the childish perception of myself into this manly being - physically, mentally and emotionally. I would look into the mirror and watch my hairline receding every hour. I'm aging! However, Emotionally, I can't be very sure much has changed. 

Who would have thought that one girl like that would make me pick up writing again after this long ass while. I have read tons of shit about not being led by emotions but I have often found myself giving in to my emotions. I have disappointed a few number of good writers whose books have constantly told me the opposite of the life I find myself living. I can pat myself in the back for consistently liking whom I'm not supposed to like or to be fair, someone that doesn't feel the same way about me. 

The hard part of being an Adult, especially a male adult is there are questions you still want to ask people for clarity sakes but you self-judge yourself so much that asking those would mean asking how to live your own life. Shit should not be so difficult right? It is pretty difficult. It's easy to decide but hard to live with the consequences of one's choice. The fear of not having to deal with harsh consequences then makes you indecisive. Indecisiveness! Another sickness I should talk about sometimes. 

BEING A LAGOSIAN

I recently resumed working for a firm in Lagos located in a very affluent part of Lekki but I'm yet to gather my thoughts into writeable shapes about my new place of work. perhaps much later.

Back to the girl who made me pen again. it's been months we've known each other and of course, I pushed for a relationship sooner than the imaginary period of time it takes to tell someone you like them and shit is not going well again. This isn't new and normally I would feel bad about denial but, I said I grew right? I actually did grow.

A LITTLE ABOUT THIS GIRL

She's slim as fuck! I wasn't sure what attracted me to her but, meh, my choice is my choice and I have learnt to like my choices. Another tick in the checkbox on my adulthood transition slip.  

I think she probably doesn't like men as much as she thinks so she would ordinarily have them as friends and study them. At least, she can't get hurt that way. She can be very defiant, a very unusual girly trait. Maybe she doesn't want to seem the usual soft girl but outside the thick shell, there's a crack line scribbled across that surface. The crack where the vulnerabilities still pop. She either doesn't want a serious thing with a man for now or she does not give a shit about me. It's not new. I often like those that don't like me back. Relax. 

Also, She's a 'right' person. Right because she knows appropriate responses each time. Na 'come correct or collect' person. 

OPEYEMI LET PEOPLE BE WHOMEVER THEY WANNA BE TO YOU. THE WORLD ISN'T ABOUT YOU 

If someday she sees this, seeing my thoughts on paper have always been an escape route for me. I tend to see my worries in blots; I can finally erase them from My mind. Shit might take a while but eventually... it's always worked for me.

 I have been a very selfish individual. I can be very dominating sometimes. I want things to be done my way which I think is very bad for relationships. Relationship wheels remain fluid and greased only when the priorities of your partner come first. I have learnt that my happiness is in my own hand. Whatever I don't want to see, I don't magnify and secondly, whatever isn't going my way, I don't pay attention to. it's common sense. But common sense isn't common. What seems to be common about 'common sense' is rare. You have to read as much or talk to people to arrive at a common sense. It has to go round to be collectively sensible. Adios. For now.